Monday, July 16, 2012

On Re-entering Formal Spirituality

It's a boy!  That's right - the reason I've been incommunicado for so long was the trials and travails of dealing with the last few months of pregnancy; unfortunately fraught with way too much worry and stress.  Gladly, my little boy ended up coming early but not-too-early, and now he's happily at home adjusting to the crazy life that is a five-person household.  While several posts may be forthcoming discussing the spirituality inherent in pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting; that's not what this post is for.  

I miss my spirituality!  Before my medical issues began, I was up (mostly) every morning doing my devotionals, spent the children's naptime working on meditation, and was generally quite in-tune with my Druid path.  With the coming of stress and concern, however, I quickly retreated back to my fairly vague Wiccish practices, seeking comfort in something familiar.  And while I believe the magick I worked in that time was a great help - it's not really fulfilling my heart or helping me to grow as a person.  And so, after many months, I'm attempting to ease myself back on to the Druid path I love so much.

Not to say that I haven't been busy with quite a bit of informal spirituality.  My garden, that I firmly resolved to complete this year, is nowhere near completion - but I am actually making progress, which is much better than previous years!  My container herbs are thriving, and there's fruit bushes on my porch waiting to be introduced to the huge garden in back, once the weeds are finally under control.  They've been mowed down and covered with a tarp - I'm hoping it will be enough to tame them!  I'm eager to get to planting.

All this time spent out of doors and with the spirits of the land around me has been incredibly eye-opening.  No, I haven't been working with my God/desses, but my connection to the nature spirits and to my ancestors has never been stronger!  While I honestly mourn the loss of so much plant life in my back yard (one reason I'd been procrastinating, I believe) the thought of being able to have plants that I've planted and cared for fill up that space is just amazing to me; not to mention that hopefully one day it will supply all our produce needs for the whole summer.  As for the ancestors, my closeness to them this summer is due to several factors.  I recently attended a family reunion that traced our common lineage back to an immigrant from Germany - not too long ago, he was my Great-Great-Grandfather.  Though much of my extended family has moved on, I and my family still live within a few miles of where he first settled so many years ago.  Though it is a very short span of time in the life of the nature spirits here, I feel it is very important - my family has been a stable presence here, and because of a love of nature that runs like brown hair in our genes, I believe that we have always been very close with these land spirits, and I am so glad to continue honoring that tradition.

I am very glad of my recent growth; but with all that said, I am eager to get back to my formal practice.  While I do feel very connected, I don't feel as if I'm being challenged as a person - perhaps that is the job of the God/desses I've been ignoring these past few months.  The first step is restarting daily devotions - not as easy with three children, especially since the little one still has me getting up every two hours - but I feel it's very important to my growth, and I'm going to try my hardest to make time for it.