D is for Druid

I am a Druid.  It might seem like a simple statement, but it's been a very long and complicated journey for me: through Buddhism, Taoism, other Eastern religions; through Wicca, vague nature-religion, on and on and on.  Not that I'm condemning seekers; on the contrary, I think that spending some time seeking is an essential part of one's spiritual life.  Some are happy never to settle down.  But after a year with ADF Druidism, I really feel as if I have found a place to settle down.

Though I don't have a Grove near me, I still am able to connect to other Druids through the Solitary Druid and the liturgy they write.  But ADF is different for all of its members, and today I'd like to enumerate on what Druidry means to me.

Like many followers of Earth-centered religions; I have always felt drawn to nature and the natural world.  My grandmother taught me a great respect for the world around us: she would take me camping often, instilling an incredible love and awe for nature.  She is a firm Christian, but believes that God expresses His majesty through his creation; and she passed on that love to me (though not the love of her God ;) ).  I also grew up with a love of classical mythology and JRR Tolkien's fantasy of a more rural, more connected world where beauty in nature is highly valued.  The trees are alive with thoughts and spirits; and I have carried this animistic view through my life.

I am a Druid because I believe that there are Nature spirits all around me that are worthy and deserving of respect.  I am a Druid because I honor my ancestors believe their spirits have left a mark on both the land and myself.  I am a Druid because I don't know if the Gods and Goddesses are real, and I'm not sure that it matters.  I worship them as if they are, because it accomplishes my ultimate goal of closeness with those things that matter to me: the land, the waters, the sky.

I am an ADF Druid because I find value in tradition and common liturgy.  I respond well to structure, when given plenty of room to be who I am within that structure.  I am not a reconstructionist, and I am not only an Earth-centered spiritual person.  I am an ADF Druid, part of a living tradition that is both old and new.

C is for Christianity

Well, I wrote up a huge post yesterday; and then decided not to publish it.  It was full of my angsty journey from hostility to understanding of my Christian heritage, and honestly was probably way more words than anyone would want to read about my childhood!  So, a little late, I give you a new 'C for Christianity' post.

Many Pagans today were raised in Christian homes, and many of those in fairly fundamentalist ones.  I am one of those Pagans, and the journey of transition was a difficult one for me, as it is for many.  I know that at first, I took the stance of totally cutting everything about my birth religion out of my consciousness and my life - I refused to attend church with the family, refused to touch the books on religion they gave me, I even did up very elaborate goth makeup for my graduation to piss off the church elders!  But my attitude has slowly changed over the years, and I'd like to propose today that we don't have to do this.

I'm not advocating that we, as Pagans in a Christian family or society, bow to the wishes of those around us, confess our sins, and convert!  What we can do is carry forward some of the things we learned in our youth to inform the religious practices we have adopted as our own.  One of my favorite services was always Good Friday - it was very ceremonial with candles being lit and extinguished at specific times, dark and melancholy words and hymns; it always felt as if a cloud was passing over the earth and death was very near.  In my teenage wisdom I dismissed this as ridiculous; but now a bit older and a bit wiser, I can see that this was probably one of my first experiences in looking the otherworld in the eye, much as many Pagans do at Samhain.  After this realization, I began to tap into that very strong feeling and memory association from my youth and used that in my Samhain rituals - I used some of the same hymn tunes and put my own Pagan words to them, and I still follow the Tenebrae extinguishing of candles; but this is to honor the death of the light and life on the earth rather than Jesus.

I have been accused of being a catch-all, eclectic, take-what's-shiny Pagan, and I suppose that's a fairly accurate characterization.  But this is not just grabbing some random ritual from some random culture - it's borrowing from the religion of my birth, the religion of my society, and one with which I have very powerful sensation and memory associations.  I no longer believe in the literal existence of Jesus, but why should that stop me from borrowing a ritual that fits my purpose, has exactly the right tone, and that I am intimately familiar with after having been part of it for almost twenty years?

In that same vein, I feel that it is at our own peril that former-Christian Pagans eschew the general holidays and merriment of wider society.  I know one Wiccan woman who refuses to acknowledge the existence of Christmas to her children, insisting that they celebrate only Yule and that Santa Claus and Jesus are malicious stories intended to deceive their friends.  I can understand where she is coming from, but at the same time I don't think she realizes just how hard it is to be a child that doesn't celebrate Christmas, or Easter, or any of the other major Christian holidays - even the harmless, secular aspects.  My husband grew up Muslim, and he still carries animosity and anger about Christmas; not because he felt oppressed, but because he felt left out.  Is that what we want to do to our children?  Should we sacrifice their joy in the holiday season because we have issues about our Christian past?  In my house, we have chosen to celebrate Yule and Ostara in very ritualistic, religious ways - and at Christmas and Easter, we open presents from Santa and hunt eggs left by the Easter Bunny.  We don't generally talk about Jesus's birth or death, but that doesn't mean we have to ignore the holiday, especially in our increasingly secularized society.

I'd like to challenge all of the former-Christian Pagans reading this to take some time to think about your relationship with Christianity.  Do you view it with animosity?  Perhaps it is time to start changing that view.  I like to remember the Pagans of Europe, who when confronted with conversion to this new religion, went along with it - but still kept many of their old traditions and rituals as well.

B is for Books (for kids!)

Being the bibliophile that I am, it is no surprise that for me, B unquestionably stands for Books!  I'm currently sitting (metaphorically!) on a huge pile of esoteric literature while I work on another Tarot reproduction; but given the subject of this blog, I'd like to speak out and give some suggestions on Pagan books, fiction and non-fiction, that my children have enjoyed.

The first, and my eldest daughter's favorite, is Aisha's Moonlit Walk by Anika Stafford.  My daughter is just about to turn five, but we've been enjoying this book for a couple of years now.  It has a chapter for each holiday of the Wiccan Wheel of the Year, telling a story about Aisha and her family.  There are also lots of discussion questions that give lots of room to talk about your own family traditions and beliefs - so if you follow a season-inspired calendar of celebrations, even if they're not the typical Wheel of the Year, this book is really informative for kids.  For my daughter, it's helped to teach her that there are other kids out there like her.  We live in an isolated part of the Midwest, and the few groups that I do know of and attend occasionally don't have any other young members; and she is unfortunately already a bit hesitant to mention her holidays to friends or at school.  This book has really made her feel a lot less alone in her religion.

Some favorites for the 5 year old and the 2 year old are this series of books by Ellen Jackson: there is one for the Spring Equinox, Autumn Equinox, Winter Solstice and Summer Solstice.  Each book not only goes into the changing weather and plant and animal life of each season, but also talks about several ancient peoples and how they would have celebrated this time of year.  For me as a Druid, this series is perfect because it covers many of the basics of our modern practice (seasons and their change) as well as how the ancient druidic peoples might have celebrated.

One more recommendation for the Pagan pre-parent - Pagan Parenting: Spiritual, Magical, and Emotional Development of the Child by Kristin Madden.  I absolutely adore this book.  I didn't find it until I was pregnant with my third child, but it was such an uplifting and helpful read while I was struggling with some difficult emotions.  There are some great rituals, and very lovely meditations - some to prepare for childbirth, and many to connect with the unborn child which I found incredibly helpful.  I really feel this book is a must for anyone who is going to become a Pagan parent.

Winter

Well, I fell off the bandwagon!  The Pagan Blog Project and my hopes of completing the Dedicant's Path this year both fell by the wayside when faced when the encroaching cold.  Here's to a fresh start and a successful year as Spring once again starts to show its face!

High Holy Day Essay - Mabon

Mabon is done and past, and my oldest daughter and I had a lovely ritual to celebrate.  Now, this essay is for my ADF Dedicant's Path requirements, and it's recommended that you keep it around 100 words; so I'll have to try not to be too wordy.

On Monday, September 24th, I began setting up for what I thought would be a solitary Autumnal Equinox ritual in the Proto Indo-European hearth culture; but my oldest daughter (age 4) decided to join me as well!  We followed the ADF Core Order of Ritual, ringing a bell to initiate the rite, then taking nine deep and cleansing breaths to purify and center ourselves.  We offered oats and a cherry tomato from the garden to the Earth Mother, and stated that our purpose was a celebration of our wonderful harvest.  We offered to the Fire, Well, and Tree, opened the Gates, and invited the Kindred while giving them offerings of incense and libations of water.  We did not invite any Deities of the Occasion, as my path is centered around the Earth Mother and this seemed very much one of Her holidays.  We offered more offerings to Her, and took the Omen with Tarot cards: first was the Nine of Swords, and so we went back and offered more incense to each of the Kindreds.  The second card pulled was the Sun, so we moved on to calling the blessings.  We called the blessings into a chalice of water and each drank deep.  We then thanked the Kindreds and closed the Gates, and finally thanked the Earth Mother and closed the rite.

It was a very nice ritual, though peppered with questions from my daughter since she's never attended a formal ADF-style ritual.  We both felt it was a very sacred time, and felt the Earth's energy as we went outside to pour out the libations and other offerings in the garden.  I did feel a bit strange working out the 'Deities of the Occasion' portion; as I said, the Earth Mother is sort of my patron deity, and so I choose to honor Her during the agricultural festivals.  It's hard to capture the beauty and sacredness of such a ritual with  a word limit and need to describe in detail, but it was a very beautiful occasion.

Nin, the Ash

 I'm attempting to embark on a study of the Ogham to have a more historical-feeling divination tool within ritual.  Unfortunately, having my tarot cards nearby imparts an entirely different feel than I'd like to have for my Druid work.  Each day I'll be picking an Ogham at random to study, and then setting it aside so I'll have a smaller pile to choose from the next day.




Today I chose Nin, the Ash.  In Erynn Rowan Laurie's book Ogam, Weaving Word Wisdom she states that this symbol is also associated with the nettle and a weaving loom, which was often constructed from ash wood.  This symbol primarily represents connections, both physical and metaphysical.  When we work to make connections with those in our community, or become closer with those we don't know as well, we are doing the work of this Ogham.  In John Matthews' Green Man Tree Oracle, which focuses more on the trees of the Ogham, we learn that the ash tree is incredibly sturdy; and manages to survive winds that may fell other trees with its deep roots.  Thus, we see that the strength of a person depends just as much on the unseen as what we can see.

Perfect Fall Day

It's beautiful outside today - a lovely 60 degrees with a clear blue sky as far as the eye can see.  The eggplants are all ready for harvesting, and the tomatoes are beginning to ripen - the branches are hanging down almost to the ground, covered with fruit!  It's the time of year for long walks, raking leaves, and finishing up all the yardwork summer left undone.  Mabon is right around the corner!  It's September 22nd this year, so we'll have a nice open Saturday for celebrations.