My Heathen Religious Calendar 2015

I made a post about this last year, and have had a few requests for an update, so I thought I'd finally get around to posting even though it's already March!  It's not all Anglo-Saxon this time - I've added a few Icelandic holidays for spirits that seemed to want to catch my attention this past year.

January 23rd - Thorrabloat (welcoming and appeasement of Thorri, a spirit of winter)

February 3 - The Charming of the Plow (in which cakes are offered to the earth, a practice attested to by Bede for the month of Solmonað)



February 22 - Konudagur (celebration of Góa, an Icelandic spirit of spring)

March 5 - Festival for Hreða (the full moon, and midpoint, of Hredmonað)

April 4 - Eostara, spring festival for the goddess Eostre (the full moon, and midpoint, of the month Eostara)

June 17 - Litha (placed on the new moon closest to the solstice; this would have been the day between two months called Before-Litha and After-Litha)

August 29 - Hlæfmæst (literally 'loaf-feast', on the full moon midpoint of Háligmonað)

September 27 - Freyfaxi (unattested in England, but an important Heathen harvest festival; I chose the full moon of September as it often lines up with other Freyfaxi celebrations)

October 27 - Winterfylleð (Winterfinding is the name of the month; given similar holidays attested in Norse sources, I have chosen to honor it with a feast-day, again on the full moon)

November 25 - Winternights (again, this is not a historical English celebration, but its importance in modern Heathenry brings me to celebrate it)

December 21 - Mōdraniht (I have chosen to celebrate this the night before the solstice, though there is some debate on where in December it should be celebrated)

December 22 - Solstice (I choose to honor Sunne on this day, though as far as I know this is historically unattested)

Jan 1 - Twelfthnight (this is attested in Norse sources, but given the history of the 'twelve days of Christmas' in England, I find it perfectly acceptable to extend the festive holiday season)

Coming Home

Well, it has certainly been awhile since I've been able to post here.  October through December are certainly the busiest times for Pagans; planning Samhain or Winternights rituals, attending them all, and then starting the process over for Yule can be very daunting, especially when the weather is chill and the wind is fierce.  There's also something about the waning of the year that often takes the spirit out of my writing.. it's difficult to become motivated, to form new ideas, when it seems as if all things are laying down to rest.

Nonetheless, I wanted to share with all my readers some very exciting news - the Order of the Red Grail, a Wiccan coven and fantastic group of people who I attend ritual with regularly are raising money to build a retreat center here in Nebraska.  I know many of you are of the more Heathen or other non-Wiccan varieties of Pagan, and this is great for those of us in these camps too!  The Red Grail has been around for twenty years, and has been such a huge supporter of other Pagan groups trying to start up in the region - Nebraska Heathens United consistently has events co-hosted with the Red Grail, and the local ADF Druid group (Prairie Shadow Protogrove) just helped perform lovely Yule ritual for the Wiccans' solstice party.  Having land open for Pagan use in the area would mean so much to many of the groups in eastern Nebraska.  Please stop by the IndieGoGo campaign and help by donating or spreading the word!

I have a small Yule ritual prepared for Frey and Njord that I'll be posting the next few days before the solstice, so keep your eyes out!  Thank you all.

Earthy Heathen: A Blog Experiment

Oh, Tumblr.  I have to admit there's no love lost there.  I'm not a huge fan of the format or the controls, but as a blogger it's time for me to admit that there is definitely more of an audience on Tumblr.  And so, to reach out and try to get some interest in the idea of Earth-centered Heathenry going, I'm starting up a small blog there that I'll be posting a prayer, ritual, or some information to every week.  I will also be cross-posting those things here; but if you're more inclined to Tumblr and interested in Earth-centered Heathenry, come follow me at earthyheathen.tumblr.com!

A Return and Update, Scheduling Announcements, and a Moonlit Walk

Photo from Nasa.gov

It's been a long time, my friends.  My computer crashed back in May, and I'm just now returning to the world of the internet thanks to a loan from a very generous friend.  It feels great to be back!  But also a little weird.  There's so many things that have completely fallen off my radar that I must now go back and pick up the threads of.  A backlog of blog posts, Pagan news (and drama), all waiting to be read and explored and ruminated upon.  School starts back up this week for one of my little ones, so I may have a bit of time in the afternoon to actually devote to those things!

Quick announcement before I carry on with updates about my rather mundane life: Pagan Pride Day Omaha is being held on September 20th of this year at Zorinsky Lake, and Prairie Shadow Protogrove ADF is holding the main ritual as our official Equinox rite.  We're having lots of vendors, lots of workshops, and a bunch of informational tables; so if you're at all interested in the Omaha/Lincoln Pagan scene, please come down and meet some of these awesome people - non-Pagans are totally welcome as well!

Okay, back to the updates.  Since I last wrote, a lot of different things have happened in my life that have evolved my spiritual practice and changed what exactly I'm doing.  First, I've been slowly feeling a call from a subset of the Germanic deities I honor to do a very specific and special work for Them, that will require much of my time and focus.  I've spent a lot of my time without internet working on this goal - carefully reading, researching and making footnotes in the books I already owned; along with a slow and steady building of relationships with the spirits and deities whose assistance and goodwill I will need.  This focus has left little time for other spiritual pursuits, however, and it seems to have been the mutual conclusion of I and the Gaelic deities I have honored to move apart from one another for now.  This has been difficult for me - Brigid and Manannán have long been very present in my life, and having to move on and build relationships with others has been a sorrowful time.

The other event that has thrown my usual life out of whack was the death of my Grandfather.  He passed away on Father's Day, the night before I was coming to see him for the first time in awhile.  He was an amazing man, and he was ready and accepting of his own death - but I was not ready for him to go.  I'm still carrying around a lot of guilt and grief over his passing, and am trying to channel that energy into writing a sort of guide/ritual for the welcoming of a new Ancestor in an ADF context.  It has been difficult, but I'm hopeful that now I have access to the greater online ADF community, I can get some input and possible examples from others who've faced the same situation.

Last night, as I walked home from an extremely enjoyable full moon ritual put on by the Order of the Red Grail - including some amazing Lughnasadh games - I had the wonderful experience of walking home under a bright silvery full moon in a sky full of lightning and rushing clouds.  As I reached the final stretch of my walk, a park in my neighborhood with no electric lights and long stretches of open grassland, I was amazed by just how bright the moon really is!  A vague silver, shifting light, it is nonetheless strong enough to create dark shadows where the occasional tree stands next to the path.  Though I adore summer, you will often hear me say that the winter sky is best for viewing stars: I always feel that the cold air sharpens them somehow, making their sparkles that much brighter.  But I have never seen a moon as bright as the one that led my way home last night.

G is for Garden

Thank goodness for being able to schedule posts, because I've been pretty absent over the past couple of weeks.  Between illness in the family and the loss of someone I'd grown up with but hadn't seen for quite awhile, I haven't really been up to writing.  But here I am, getting some words out into web.

This week I'd like to write about gardens, and how gardening is my most satisfying expression of my Paganism.  My patron Goddess is Nerthus, whom Tacitus in his Germania called the Earth Mother of Suebi tribes.  Though She is a complicated deity, and has many influences and interests outside of green and growing things, it is the primary way I encounter and honor Her.  Not only is She very present in the act of gardening; but in replacing generic green grass with plants that give food and support to both humans and animals, I feel the affirmation and appreciation of the local land wights as well.  After caring for my garden for a few years, I have become very close to the spirit of the soil there.

The first step to a good garden is clearing and preparing the earth.  It is in this step that I feel closest to the primal Earth.  Coming to gardening without knowing anything about it, I assumed the soil before planting would be pretty boring, requiring only a few holes and seeds to bring it to life.  But the truth is that the soil is already alive!  Each spade turned over reveals beetles and earthworms, centipedes and pill bugs, living off of and giving life to the decayed matter that makes up a large part of a garden's earth.  Working compost into the soil gives even more life, adding fuel to the biological processes that are already taking place, providing nutrients to feed an already thriving, but tiny, ecosystem.  The soil itself has a life to it - the feel, the texture, the smell, is different in every location.  Here in Nebraska, my soil is rather dense and clay-like, difficult to break apart and plant in; after a lot of shoveling and a bit of compost, it becomes more like the black, rich dirt we instinctively know is right for planting.

The next step is putting in the seeds, and watching over them while they sprout and begin to grow.  This is perhaps one of the most exciting times in the garden - growth is fast, new leaves are added every day, and the hard work of the gardener is quickly on display.  It's also one of the most magical.  It seems almost impossible that such large plants, such vibrant life, could come from such tiny seeds.  As each plant grows, its own unique personality and uses can be seen.  Some are showy and bright, spreading wide and tall, with beautiful flowers.  Some are more inclined to grow close to the ground, with just small green leaves to show their presence.  Some guzzle down the water from the rains, and some seem to prefer a drier summer.  Getting to know the plants, their ways of growth and their preferred conditions, has been my biggest and most rewarding challenge as a gardener.

Here in Nebraska, for many fruit-bearing plants, after the planting and initial growth comes a long summer full of watering, weeding, and various garden-care tasks that can seem to stretch on forever with little result.  Growth has slowed and become less apparent (though those plants are certainly still growing!) and pests move in that can be difficult to drive off.  Flowers come and go, and it's not until August or even September that tomatoes, peppers, and others are big and ripe enough to be harvested.  I always tell my children this is the season of patience - if we continue to put in the work and care for what we've planted, we will reap the rewards in the fall; but if we forget or put it off as sometimes happens, the little lives we are responsible for can suffer greatly.  During this time, I see the plants almost like another part of the family.  I am responsible for their care, for their well-being.

And then in the fall, we are richly rewarded with a lovely harvest.  There's nothing like biting into a tomato gifted from a plant that has received offerings of water and care through many months, warmed by the sun and fed by the cool earth.  After those glorious few weeks, the frost sets in, and it's time to pull up the annuals and trim the perennials, and place them on the compost pile to give life to next year's garden.  This process, repeated year after year, has attuned me not only to the local seasonal cycle but to the tiny ecosystem that fills the world of my backyard.  This intimate knowledge, this camaraderie built with giving and receiving over the years, feels more Pagan to me than anything else I do in my practice.

TC Blog Project: Calendars

Wheel of the Year from the 

Museum of Witchcraft, Boscastle

Creative Commons license

Calendars - they can be such a touchy subject for Pagans!  For many outside the regular Wiccan paradigm, telling another Pagan that you don't exactly follow the Wheel of the Year (or even close) can lead to confusion and sometimes arguments.  I do follow the regular 8 holidays with my ADF grove and Wiccan coven, and the local Heathen group celebrates the solstices and equinoxes.  But in my family's practice, we have a bit of a different liturgical calendar.  I've posted before about my Anglo-Saxon holidays; this calendar includes my personal Gaelic holidays, some cultural holidays, and a couple to honor other deities.

Imbolc - February 1 (set out a brat to be blessed by Brighid, bless the house)

Ériu Day - March 17 (honor Irish ancestors, prepare traditional Irish food, honor to Ériu)

Cailleach Day - March 20 (bid goodbye to the Cailleach)

Earth Day - April 22 (ritual and offerings for Earth deities)

Arbor Day - April 25 (a big holiday in Nebraska, we visit Arbor Day Farms and discuss tree lore)

Beltane - May 1 (collect dew for holy water, ritually rekindle the household fire, decorate May tree with bright ribbons)

Midsummer - June 21 (tend a flame through the night, offering rushes to Manannán and milk-soaked bread to Áine)

Star Day - July 27 (a new moon, good day for star viewing, and honoring a star Goddess)

Lughnasadh - August 1 (honor Lugh, harvest the first fruits of the garden, make a large feast to share with the Gods, athletic fun and games)

Samhain - October 31 (honoring the Ancestors)

Totensonntag - November 23 (honoring recent Ancestors - this is a 19th century German holiday, and many of my near Ancestors came from Germany after that time)

Returning Home

Welcome back everyone!  I hope your holidays were lovely, and filled with family and fun.

The holidays and transition to the new year always have their ups and downs.  I stopped writing around the middle of the month of December due to a combination of factors - with the holidays coming, there's always so much to prepare for and so little time to do it; and also, my ipod on which I keep my huge list of blog ideas went through the washer one night and has been unable to recover.  After all that, I decided to take a break from the world wide web for a bit and spend some quality time with my family.

So after a couple weeks rest, here I am again!  My hope for this blog in the new year is to write one Pagan Blog Project and one other post once a week, and also continue through my rune-making series.  I'm also writing for the Pagan Families blog over at Patheos (read my first contribution here).  Personally, I'm also determined to finish ADF's Dedicant Path this year, hopefully ready to turn in sometime after the Summer Solstice.  I'd also really like to start the Troth's Lore program, but I won't be turning 1 year as a member until autumn, so we'll see how busy things are at the time!

All in all, it looks to be a full and busy year, and I can't wait to share it with all of you!

W is for Web Ritual

A brief introduction: I am a member of Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship, a group focusing on recreating (in a modern context) many various religions of ancient Indo-European peoples.  Though it's the largest Druid group in America, until recently (luckily a Protogrove just started in my area!) I haven't been able to attend any rituals with other members.

Luckily for all members outside of driving distance of a Grove, the idea of 'web rituals' was recently talked about on the lists.  Nicholas Egelhoff, a member of the Norse kin (a group within ADF devoted to the Norse pantheon) set up the first 'Druid Moon Ritual' on Google Hangout.  Called the 'Druid Moon Ritual' because of its location on the 6th day of the new moon, about eight people were on video (from different locations!) performing the ritual for a larger group of ADF members.  You can watch the video of the ritual here on youtube.  There were a few technical issues at first (which is why I linked it some 30 minutes in), but overall I felt it was a wonderful success!  The use of more tech-heavy imagery, as well as the invocation of pioneering technology Ancestors, was an amazing touch that really made the ritual work.

Before trying it out, I wasn't sure how to feel about virtual ritual.  On the one hand, coming from a Christian background, I'm used to the notion of believers from around the world being able to 'link together', as it were.  On the other hand, it's a concept I've tried to minimize in my own practice - believing as I do that contact with land spirits is best done on the land, talking to ancestors is best received near their graves, etc; my spirituality is generally more about direct contact than linking energy over great distances.  And yet, once the ritual begun, I largely forgot my misgivings.  The energy did flow.  Though the Kindreds were being invited and sacrificed to many miles from me, I still felt Their presence.

The leaders of the Druid Moon Ritual are hoping to have one each month on the 6th day of the new moon.  If you're interested in watching or participating, you can check out ADF's Google+ page, where I believe more announcements will be made as the time for the next ritual draws nearer.  Personally, I'd like to see as many people as possible - it's a wonderful experience, and I think largely due to its nature, would only become more powerful as more people join in.

Samhain with Prairie Shadow Protogrove, ADF

Photo by Shanda Hahn Kinkade

The day was clear and warm-ish, and the space for our ritual was huge and green, covered with a smattering of fallen autumn leaves.  It really was the best possible setting one could want for a Samhain ritual in Nebraska.  I'd met Amber, the Protogrove founder, a few times before at various places around town, and a little meet-and-greet held at her house a few weeks beforehand.  I don't think I've ever met anyone so passionate about an organization and a community as she is.  When I arrived at her house a few hours before the ritual, she was bringing out tables to be used as altars and a giant tote full of offerings, decorations, and various other ritual necessities.  In the next few hours we did some cooking (as my clumsy self destroyed her kitchen!) and lots of set-up as her husband built the fire we'd be using.  Others began to arrive, and a community was being built.

Photo by Shanda Hahn Kinkade

Prairie Shadow Protogrove is a brand-new group, the first official branch of ADF in Nebraska.  The ritual we were setting up for was the very first: a new beginning in a season usually thought of for its endings.  A smattering of people from the local Pagan community attended - including some friends from Nebraska Heathens United - one person drove in from out of state, and another nearby ADF member came out to join us.  The ritual was Hellenic, inviting Hestia and Gaea, and Hermes as our gatekeeper.  I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Hestia, and was especially happy to welcome the Goddess of hearth and home to help build and strengthen our little community.  For the main body of the ritual, we honored our ancestors of blood, land, and hearth - Amber spoke about her old friend Dale, and how he had once inspired her to begin a Druid group here in Nebraska; Prairie Shadow Protogrove, named after his old production company, is the realization of a dream they shared years ago.  There were some others in attendance who had known him also; even though I never knew him, the outpouring of emotion and memories of him was so strong I was brought to tears.  It was my job to pull the omen, asking the Kindreds if our offerings were accepted and what blessings they would give to us in return.  I pulled the King of Cups (the outpouring of love and remembrance for Dale was most pleasing), and the Nine of Cups, showing a content man with all he had ever wanted; the Kindreds gifted us with blessings of happiness and contentment in our lives.  We passed out the waters of life (or the cider of life, in this case!), drank deeply, and thanked all those who had come.  For a first foray into ritual, Prairie Shadow Protogrove did quite well!

After ritual, we had a potluck and lots of community-building.  Watching some friends I'd gotten to know recently meet one another was amazing, and getting to know some new faces was perhaps the best part!  I'm always up for a good religious conversation - especially when my husband gets tired of listening to me enumerate the differences between the Morrigan and Macha - and there was plenty to be had.  I honestly couldn't have been happier with how the day went, and couldn't be more thankful to everyone who helped put it together - setting up, writing liturgy, or simply bringing their presence.  It was an amazing day, and a wonderful start to what will hopefully be a long tradition for Prairie Shadow Protogrove.

T is for Temple

Alright, so Stonehenge may not have been a temple (we don't really know), and it certainly wasn't a Druid temple, but it's still the most easily-recognized and impactful image of pre-Christian European worship.  Ritual for Celtic and Germanic Pagans seems to fit best under the stars, out in the open or within a sacred grove of trees.  This is something that I want very much for myself - a permanent area of outdoor worship, that I can use for its intended purpose and also isn't altogether obvious to visiting relatives or passers-by!

There is a large area in my backyard that was once a garden, but the previous owner let it go and it has collected a great deal of weeds and other detritus.  Last winter we put tarp over a lot of it, and this winter we'll be tarping over the rest to prevent weeds coming up in the spring.  And then, next spring, I plan to begin the "construction" of my own temple.  I put construction in quotes, as there will be a lot more growing and planting involved then actual building!

The area is square, but I will be bricking off a small circular area in the center to be the main ritual site.  Inside the circle will be a decorative pole (Sacred Tree in ADF), and at its foot will be a small birdbath (the Well for my ADF rituals), and a space for my larger cauldron that I also use as a small fire pit.  Outside this circle will be a small circular bricked path, which will branch out like the spokes of a wheel, and it will be between the spokes that my garden will be growing.  What I'm most excited about is imitating Stonehenge and other solar-aligned standing stones by building an astrological garden into the plans.  For this I'll use small bricks that will mark the shadow of the pole at sunrise, noon, and sunset on the solstices and equinoxes; which should add up to nine bricks; they'll be inscribed with runes or ogham and half-buried.  They'll be small and unobtrusive, but will represent a long-time project, and will connect my own little temple with the many that have come before.  It will be relatively small, and probably wouldn't support a group larger than my children and I, but I think on its completion, it will be worthy of the name temple.

Obviously, not everyone has the time or the resources to make their own outdoor temple, and I can't even begin to express how blessed I feel to be able to do this.  I hope my plans have been inspiring to some of you, and that you can find a way to make your own space into sacred space!

Sources: The 2012 Farmer's Almanac, on astrological gardens

S is for Small Pagans

Okay, so I cheated on the title, but I haven't made a PBP post yet this week, and this has been on my mind a lot lately.

There are almost as many opinions about parenting and Paganism in the Pagan community as their are Pagans!  Now that's a mouthful - but it's true.  With each person, comes a different religious background, a different upbringing, and a different attitude towards their childhood religious experiences.

I've met many Pagans who are refusing to raise their children in their own religion, many because of bad experiences having been raised in fundamentalist Christian households.  I can understand the worry that these people have.  Having been indoctrinated in a religion as a child, that's the last thing they want to do to their own children.  It's something that I fear for my kiddos - I don't want to dictate their beliefs, or tell them how to represent themselves to others.  They deserve the ability to decide for themselves.

However, I am of the opinion that a tabula rasa is not the best way to go about choosing a religion or spiritual path.  I believe it would be doing my children a great disservice to have them grow up and enter the public sphere without any knowledge of the many different beliefs the people around them hold.  We talk about Jesus occasionally, we celebrate Muslim holidays, and I generally try to give a small education on most of the major world religions.  But, it's a big step from education about a variety of religions to educating a child about your religion.

I feel it's important for children to not only be educated in religion, but to also experience religious community.  For a child growing up without that, it's awfully easy for one of the more evangelistic religions to jump in with the promise of unconditional love and community - not that I'd be unwilling to accept it if one of my children chose Christianity, but I want it to be an honest and informed choice, not something they turn to because they don't have a spiritual community.

Which brings me to my final point - for Pagans with kids who want their children raised in their religion, there are some hurdles in place.  Granted, I've never been to a big festival with a dedicated and organized kid area, but in my experiences with a few area groups, there's a distinct lack of kid stuff.  It's not that they aren't welcome - everyone is always very friendly and seems happy to see them at gatherings - but there's nothing for them.  Children are often welcomed at ritual, which is great, and I appreciate it; but it's not exactly easy for them.  It's like asking a kid to sit through a church service, which is tricky at the best of times.  Kids like to move, to talk, and they don't like standing around and listening to other people go on!  Other events have an area with kid activities, or let kids play while the ritual goes on; but then they're not having any sort of spiritual experience.

I think what a few larger Pagan groups really need is a time for children - small children who just can't be expected to sit through and understand adult ritual - to have their own spiritual space and experience.  I've been working on a ritual script that's just about ready to test out with my own kiddos; and after I've refined it a bit, I'd really like to invite some of the local Pagan children to come and enjoy it with us.  But having a group of small Pagans is contingent on having a group of Pagan parents who want their children educated in the basics of Pagan religion.

Reading back through this, my writing may be coming off as judge-y of other parents who choose not to raise their children in a Pagan religion.  To clarify, I think every parent has the right to raise their child exactly how they feel is best - I'm just lamenting a small gap in support for parents who do want to raise their children in their traditions.

High Holy Day Essay: Lughnasadh

I began my year of High Day celebrations on Lughnasadh, celebrating with a group called Pagans of Nebraska.  The ritual was typically Wiccan, beginning with a sage smudge to purify those entering the circle.  Once everyone had entered and formed the circle, four people standing at the quarters called the four elements: Air, Fire, Water and Earth.  Then a man and a woman standing in the center of the circle called on the God and Goddess respectively, and thanked Them for the gifts of the harvest.  After the leaders had finished, they went around the circle distributing water and cinnamon bread to the participants.  Then the God and Goddess were thanked again and bid farewell, and the elements were similarly thanked.  The circle was closed and the participants free to socialize.
This was my first foray into public ritual, and honestly I didn't much enjoy it.  There seemed to be very little energy; possibly due to the poor reading of many of the invocations, or the seemingly disinterested and cellphone-glancing participants.  The ritual leader at one point had to stop and turn off his cell when it rang in the midst of the ritual.  The setting also left much to be desired; a little green patch of grass between two parking lots, a rather busy road, and a brick building.  All in all, I was rather disappointed in the experience.

Perfect Fall Day

It's beautiful outside today - a lovely 60 degrees with a clear blue sky as far as the eye can see.  The eggplants are all ready for harvesting, and the tomatoes are beginning to ripen - the branches are hanging down almost to the ground, covered with fruit!  It's the time of year for long walks, raking leaves, and finishing up all the yardwork summer left undone.  Mabon is right around the corner!  It's September 22nd this year, so we'll have a nice open Saturday for celebrations.

On Re-entering Formal Spirituality

It's a boy!  That's right - the reason I've been incommunicado for so long was the trials and travails of dealing with the last few months of pregnancy; unfortunately fraught with way too much worry and stress.  Gladly, my little boy ended up coming early but not-too-early, and now he's happily at home adjusting to the crazy life that is a five-person household.  While several posts may be forthcoming discussing the spirituality inherent in pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting; that's not what this post is for.  

I miss my spirituality!  Before my medical issues began, I was up (mostly) every morning doing my devotionals, spent the children's naptime working on meditation, and was generally quite in-tune with my Druid path.  With the coming of stress and concern, however, I quickly retreated back to my fairly vague Wiccish practices, seeking comfort in something familiar.  And while I believe the magick I worked in that time was a great help - it's not really fulfilling my heart or helping me to grow as a person.  And so, after many months, I'm attempting to ease myself back on to the Druid path I love so much.

Not to say that I haven't been busy with quite a bit of informal spirituality.  My garden, that I firmly resolved to complete this year, is nowhere near completion - but I am actually making progress, which is much better than previous years!  My container herbs are thriving, and there's fruit bushes on my porch waiting to be introduced to the huge garden in back, once the weeds are finally under control.  They've been mowed down and covered with a tarp - I'm hoping it will be enough to tame them!  I'm eager to get to planting.

All this time spent out of doors and with the spirits of the land around me has been incredibly eye-opening.  No, I haven't been working with my God/desses, but my connection to the nature spirits and to my ancestors has never been stronger!  While I honestly mourn the loss of so much plant life in my back yard (one reason I'd been procrastinating, I believe) the thought of being able to have plants that I've planted and cared for fill up that space is just amazing to me; not to mention that hopefully one day it will supply all our produce needs for the whole summer.  As for the ancestors, my closeness to them this summer is due to several factors.  I recently attended a family reunion that traced our common lineage back to an immigrant from Germany - not too long ago, he was my Great-Great-Grandfather.  Though much of my extended family has moved on, I and my family still live within a few miles of where he first settled so many years ago.  Though it is a very short span of time in the life of the nature spirits here, I feel it is very important - my family has been a stable presence here, and because of a love of nature that runs like brown hair in our genes, I believe that we have always been very close with these land spirits, and I am so glad to continue honoring that tradition.

I am very glad of my recent growth; but with all that said, I am eager to get back to my formal practice.  While I do feel very connected, I don't feel as if I'm being challenged as a person - perhaps that is the job of the God/desses I've been ignoring these past few months.  The first step is restarting daily devotions - not as easy with three children, especially since the little one still has me getting up every two hours - but I feel it's very important to my growth, and I'm going to try my hardest to make time for it.

Week Two: The First Oath

This week on the ADF Dedicant's Path, I've been asked to make a First Oath as a commitment to the Druid path.  The Oath is meant to be given in an ADF-style ritual as well, so this week will also be my first one of those.  It feels very overwhelming!  But I'm also glad to be making some progress.  This kind of challenge (and hopefully, growth!) is exactly what I signed up for.  And so, tomorrow or Friday, I'll be doing my first ADF ritual.

I had some trouble writing the Oath, so I borrowed the example given in Our Own Druidry and made some modifications for myself.  I haven't made any connections with deities thus far, so I chose to make my Oath before a nature spirit that I'm just getting to know a bit better - the beautiful oak in my backyard.  The three main components of the Oath are a vow of virtue, piety, and study; for myself I wanted to include dedication as well.  Though I may not always succeed, I will pursue my spiritual path and grow in it to the best of my abilities.

I, Aiwelin, before you my sacred tree,
name myself as a seeker of the Old Ways of communion with the Earth.
With this holy oath I set my foot upon the Path, the Druid's Way,
and I will make my dedication plain.
I will seek virtue in my life, doing right by those I love.
I vow to seek piety, to make my Paganism real.
I will seek knowledge and wisdom
in the ways of my Path through diligent study.
This I vow in the sight of the spirits, the ancestors, and the Gods and Goddesses.
So be it.
-modified from the First Oath in Our Own Druidry, cited below

Various Authors (2009). The First Oath, Our Own Druidry [kindle version]. Retrieved from http://adf.org

A Fork in the Path

It's almost Spring! My maple tree out front is budding, birds are singing outside my bedroom window before the sun rises, and I've seen more rabbits in the past few days than patches of snow. It's almost my birthday, which forecasters are promising will be a balmy seventy degrees, our warmest day yet this year. Ostara is coming up quickly, so there's lots of work to be done prepping the garden soil and sowing the seeds in their little egg cartons to wait for the last frost.

Most Pagans who follow the Wheel of the Year consider Samhain to be their New Year, but for me it will always be Imbolc. Spring is a time of such energy for me! I'm always getting new ideas for projects and life goals; so like many who make New Year's resolutions, I often find myself biting off a bit more than I can chew. This year, I'll be starting a garden and having a baby, so there's already a lot to do! But, under the sway of spring as I am, I have added one more goal to this year's list - to gently steer my solitary Pagan path in the direction of community.

Ideally, I want to find a local group with kid-friendly circles, so my daughters will have the kind of faith community I had growing up - but Pagan instead of Christian. There are some local circles to check out, which I'm quite excited to do! I also want to add another dimension to my experience of Paganism. Having been a solitary for ten years now, I feel like I've grown as far as I can without any kind of challenge or collaboration. The time may come when I will once again prefer to be a solitary; but at this point in my life, I need to branch out and experience the larger world around me.

This blog will largely be for recording my journey for community; but I'm sure plenty of other things will pop in! I'll also discuss being a Pagan parent (with a special focus on pregnancy and birth these next few months), my learning attempts at kitchen and garden magick, and my personal faith as it continues to evolve.  I am also planning to participate in the Pagan Blog Project for 2012 to help keep this blog on track - so look for weekly updates.

Thank you for reading!